Nice job today by The Oregonian summarizing the mess that is Memorial Coliseum. I especially loved our fine mayor’s contributions to the story, including this gem, in reaction to The Trail Blazers’ “Jumptown” concept:

“Terrible,” Adams said of early Jumptown drawings. “The most un-Portland-like, significantly un-Portland like, renderings of what it would be.”

Now I wasn’t pleased with the role the Trail Blazers played in this whole thing. Most people I know believe they were the ones — not a band of architects — who torpedoed the idea of tearing MC down and building a ballpark. But I was intrigued by “Jumptown” and more than that, I fell on the floor laughing at Sam Adams’ idea that it was “un-Portland-like.”

What does that mean, Mr. Mayor? That it might actually be successful? Gawd, isn’t it time to go with something un-Portland-like? The whole idea that people can’t come to grips with the fact that the building is old, worn out and in serious need of a demolition is still something this city doesn’t want to face up to.

So, just as Portland has done with PGE Park, it will keep pumping taxpayer dollars into it, chasing good money after bad, trying to save something that deserves to be discarded — recycling gone wild. This city won’t come to grips with the idea that sports arenas have a distinct shelf life. Of course, this city won’t come to grips with the idea that every other major city in the world builds new arenas.

I’m warning you, Portland, you follow Adams’ idiotic plans for this site — basically just an overgrown community center — you’re going to be subsidizing that white elephant for decades.

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I’m sure you saw this story about Orlando landing the 2012 NBA All-Star Game. It’s the second time the Magic have played host to the game since it came into the league.

Meanwhile, Portland remains one of the few teams in the league to never have played host to the game — which sticks in the craw of a lot of long-time Portlanders. Oh, I know, when you talk to the Trail Blazers they’ll tell you that the lack of hotel space, or the lack of a huge headquarters hotel in the vicinity of the arena, means Portland CANNOT host it.

That’s an impediment, but seriously — it’s just the easy excuse for the league and the team. The simple fact is, the Blazers quit bidding for the game years ago. They really haven’t wanted it. Many NBA teams have no interest in staging the game. It is a major pain in the backside.

I don’t think the Blazers have had any interest in messing around with all the details and distractions that the All-Star Weekend can bring to a franchise. The only entity that really benefits from the event is the city itself, with all the visitors and attention in can bring to a community.

There are two real reasons for a team to chase that game. The first is that you’re having trouble selling season tickets and you need the game to spark interest in your NBA team. You can even include tickets to the game or the Saturday circus of events as part of a season-ticket package. This reason is much less common than it used to be, mainly because the hosting teams just don’t get all that many tickets anymore. The league sucks most of them up for its bigwigs and VIPs.

The best reason to want the game now is that it’s major leverage in your community. If you need some juice with the mayor or city council in getting a new arena built or renovated, you can promise the All-Star Game — and often the local political hacks will fall all over themselves to help you. The game does bring major revenue into town and also brings plenty of attention to a community.

For politicians, it doesn’t get any better than that.

OK, so let’s fast-forward to our situation in Portland. Right now in the Rose Quarter, three different groups are trying to win the right to develop the area — including the Trail Blazers’ Jumptown proposal. The basketball team is the favorite in the process, by the way. The Blazers usually get what they want around here, as all of us who wanted to see Memorial Coliseum turned into a showplace for a beautiful minor-league baseball stadium know by now.

But if you’re the City Council and the mayor’s office, the least you can do is extract a commitment from the Trail Blazers that they’ll do ALL they can to get an All-Star Game in Portland in return for the rights to developing Jumptown. It would be a nice way to open that neighborhood when and if it ever does get built.

And honestly, hotel rooms or not — and with all the damn trolleys and trains running around this town, our hotels are all accessible from the Rose Quarter — this town DESERVES an NBA All-Star Game. And the Blazers damn well ought to start bidding for it again.

The league owes us one and so does the team. I cannot believe our “city fathers” — and in the case of Portland even using that old term is pretty hilarious — haven’t pressured the team to make it happen by now. Well, I CAN believe it because the level of naivete around City Hall when it comes to sports has never been higher.

But the mayor, city council and everyone else in a position to have a say about developing that Rose Quarter area should make sure they do all they can to get past the BS and hold the Trail Blazers accountable for bringing the game here.

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I sent you to the website the other day – imaginejumptown.com — but I didn’t have time to comment much. It appears that Larry Miller has gotten his old pals at Nike to buy into the thing with some sort of Nike museum. That sounds great for the area in the Rose Quarter.

But what still bothers me is the stubbornness of sticking to this “bright future for Memorial Coliseum” garbage. I realize the Trail Blazers have sold themselves on the concept that the indoor venue, the coliseum, cut down to seat 5,000 or 6,000  people, is a more viable venue than a Triple-A baseball park for bringing people into the new neighborhood.

I think they’re wrong. Yes, much of the winter the ballpark would be vacant. But that’s the time of year when the Rose Garden will be hopping. You don’t need the ballpark in the winter — you need it in the summer and spring when the Rose Garden (and Memorial Coliseum) is dark all the time.

Does Portland need a 5,000-seat arena? I don’t think so. We already have one at University of Portland’s Chiles Center. I think that size is a little too small for the Winter Hawks, who should be playing in the Rose Garden. And I think by the time you get done updating 50-year-old plumbing, wiring and structure of the old MC, you’re spending so much money you’d have been better off leveling the thing and starting all over.

It’s going to be a money pit. A big, big money pit. And when you’re done, what kind of arena will it be? Probably not much of one. Honestly, if they’re so committed to keeping the outside structure, the box, they ought to gut the inside and install the world’s biggest and fastest indoor roller coaster there. It would have a better chance of being a big attraction than that old junky arena. Seriously.

A wise baseball guy, Bill Cutler, a one-time owner of the Portland Beavers, once sighed as he watched the city of Portland first installing artificial turf on ancient then-Civic Stadium. He turned to me and smiled.

“It’s like putting silk stockings on a hog,” he said. And he was so right. But this is Portland — we just can’t bring ourselves to throw anything away here. We’re constantly recycling.

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Here’s your link to the website. The plan also includes “a bright future for Memorial Coliseum.” That promise right there might be enough to make the project difficult to pull off.

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