Sometimes what goes on Behind the Locker Room Door should stay there:

As he is answering, Webster is squealing across the way. Blake has passed gas and Webster is calling him out.

“And he stood up to do it!” Webster laughs.

Roy joins in.

“Hey, farts need oxygen,” Roy says, imitating the motion.

It makes Roy remember a game earlier this season – he thinks it was San Antonio – when Blake dropped a bomb as the team was headed out for the opening tip. The deed was delivered at the area on the sideline where players wipe their feet on a sticky pad to make their sneakers more tacky.

“I went up to that sticky pad, and oh man, I was about to pass right out,” Roy said in his unique tone, which includes saying the last two words real quick, almost together.

Blake grins proudly at the memory.

I said it couldn’t have been any worse than Zach Randolph, who was notorious for brutal, practice-stopping gas. The players disagreed.

The title for worst ever, they say, can only be held by Raef LaFrentz.

“No, no. That’s gotta be Raef,” Aldridge said. “And he be like, ‘Yep. That’s me. Right here. Thank you. That’s me.’” All the while, Aldridge is imitating Raef by holding his hand above his head, pointing at himself.

Blake concurs, saying that Raef is the only guy who ever cleared the entire middle section of Blazer One.

“Oh man,” Roy says, his face crinkling at the memory. “I be about to jump out of that plane that day.” 

Congratulations to my pal, Jason Quick, for today’s example of what separates “Internet journalism” from the print kind. (And for the best Brandon Roy quote of the season: “Hey, farts need oxygen.” I am, though, at a loss to explain what sort of “motion” Roy was imitating.)

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Tags: Behind the Locker Room Door, Brandon Roy, Dwight Jaynes, farts, Jason Quick, Martell Webster, Portland Trail Blazers, Raef LaFrentz, Steve Blake